cloudy day

messing with your mind

2009-12-24T01:39:00.003+10:00

Obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, paranoia, depression, drug abuse, workaholicism, shoppaholicism, kleptomania, fetishes, a million types of phobias, you name it. Who can claim they are 100% normal and sane? What defines normal and sane? Is it possible to realise that we have a problem, or do we have a problem because we believe we have one?

I have self-diagnosed myself with mild cases of OCD, narcolepsy, depression, masochism, and perhaps ADD (2), bipolar and over-eating, as well as mild physical deformations like scolisos, flat feet, and asthma. Mostly according to the symptoms read from Wikipedia. Do I actually have all these problems, or am I forcing my personality and actions into the list to believe that I have all these disorders? Is that just how I am, or is there a hidden reason for the way I think and behave?

How could I personally have children, when I can't take care of myself? How could I bear to bring to life a child who could possibly have a disease, a deformity, a mental handicap or disorder? How would I be able to raise them to perfection, as well as maximise their potentials without brainwashing their opinions? What would I do to the newborn in my arms that was not a perfect baby? Would I drain them of their new life, or would they take away what has always been mine?

You read stories on the newspaper, on the internet, about people that lose it, and take the lives of others, of themselves, or whatever. And you think, these people have issues with themselves, and sometimes the distance you put between you and those people can blind you to the issues of the people around you. "These are the stories of people I see on TV, there's no way people like that can be around me."

I have a friend who is almost always depressed, distrusting of friends and family, just went through a breakup with a selfish girl, blames himself for a lot of things, and other problems. I've always tried to be there for him, to make sure he stays afloat. Sometimes I'll give him a little space 'to be himself again'. Until yesterday when I thought, "what if he really isn't normal? what if he's going to be one of those people I read in the news?" What am I going to do, when the last email I get from him is one that says goodbye forever?

{Let It Die} by Three Days Grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4KYPAfe11o

It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore
I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore

It's Christmas Time

2009-12-24T01:13:00.005+10:00

So I'm back from HK already, and I don't really feel like recapping what happened there, maybe in a later post. But for now it's Christmas time.

I've never celebrated Christmas much. And now I relish the fact that while others are scrambling to a shopping centre at 4am in the morning the day before the day before Christmas, I can sit comfortably in my study chair with no worries at all.

What do people see in Christmas, those who don't celebrate it as Jesus' birthday, the birth of the son of God? You get a plastic green tree, put it in your formal lounge, drape tinsel and baubles over it, stick a star on the top and presents at the bottom. Invite estranged relatives over for a day, sometimes putting up with them a chore in itself, and not a celebration. You buy them superficial presents to pretend you've thought of them, impress them with expensive wine and house decorations, and breathe a sigh of relief when the last of their cars pull away from your house.

Is this merely a habit, a tradition that one follows because one has always followed, or does your heart truly reach out to those you've sorely missed. Or perhaps it's a convenient time to bring everyone that you haven't seen in a while, and conjoin for a brief moment in your busy lives.

Yes I have a new boyfriend now, and to be honest I miss Chris, and sometimes I wonder what I would be doing, or how my life would be if we were still together. But it's just fanciful daydreams, all I want is him to still be my friend. Alas alas, what I would do if I could turn back time.

Christmas is closing in like a wild turkey (I don't know how wild turkeys close in it just popped in my head) and Dean (current boyfriend) is coaxing me to enjoy some Australian pasttimes. To eating dinner from a barbeque, walking around the "yard" barefoot and calling his parents by first name, he's a refreshing change, but I guess I'm just too azn. We're honest with each other, but at the same time, we never know, or understand what the other person is thinking. He can be dense as cement or sweet like sugar.

One night I would go to bed alone while he stayed up gaming with his friend, or another night ecstatic with happiness because he bought us a pair of rings. I try a little too hard to be compatible with him, and probably get trod on a little more than I need to be.

Meanwhile things at home are getting complicated. People are moving in and out, decisions have to be made, bills have to be paid, there's work to be done. He's a little bit of escapism, a piece of oasis where I can run from my troubles for just a little while. I do love him so, in my own twisted way, where it's always bittersweet.

{Two of the Lucky Ones} by Pete Droge and Elaine Summers from Zombieland, a pretty funny movie btw, worth a watch, or a download.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3QV5YMb0YQ

Swallows dive and turn, trying to catch what we can't see;
Sure ain't the first time; hope it ain't the last time
When all the work is done, by the light of a setting sun;
We see what we've become -- two of the lucky ones.

roving ravings

2009-11-10T14:14:00.005+10:00

I'm bored to tears in the uni library, studying for my last exam, and then heading over to HK on the 16th yaaay! I've been so slack this year, I wondered where all that energy from my first year of uni went. Cramming for exams, rushing assignments a day or two before it's due. What am I studying uni for? It might be partially because of family pressure to continue a good education while they can still afford to send me to school, and get a good job and have a good life. But I truly enjoy studying. So much in fact I don't know what I'm going to do when I leave uni. I'll be so lost amongst the sea of the world, adrift and scared. If I do choose to go into the advertising industry, I'm told new entrants have to make their presence known in the industry before you can step foot into a company, by building networks and attending events and such. But I'm too shy to approach these high and mighty creatures, dressed in a baseball cap, a shabby coat, torn jeans and guzzling beer with their friends. What reason do I have, or what do I offer them to break into their circle and make them see my presence, my worth. Do I have any worth in their eyes, or am I just like another nervous newcomer that seeks the bottom of their dirt-covered sneakers? Can uni really prepare me for this?

Maybe I should hide at home, and in the depths of the internet, indulging in my virtual desires and looking upon the cyber world, bored and distanced. It's been said that the younger generation is more physically friendly with each other, and a corporate cuddle may become the norm in the business world, rather than a brief and formal handshake. That stems from the relationship fostered from online interactions, where the anonymity of the internet and physical distance makes people more emotionally open to people you wouldn't normally be able to confide in. And the accumulation of all this emotion extends into an actual meeting, where people pour all the emotions into physical actions, such as hugs and touches and general proximity. Does the internet deepen a relationship you have with a person, or does it make it shallow? Or is it a case of the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer? Where you may be able to keep in touch with a hundred friends, you only bother talking to ten or twenty of those, and then only five or six you constantly talk to. Does the facelessness of instant messaging make people stronger? MySpace, FaceBook and Twitter are the giants of today's social networking sites, and their appeal is a virtual space all about you, a place you can show your own face and make your own mark on the infinite space of the cyberworld.

Personalisation is a great thing, you claim a thing your own, something that is uniquely and entirely yours, composed of your dreams and choices and personality, infused with a soul of itself, a manifestation of your being. Something which cannot be tangibly held now can be of great value, because it represents a part of you. Email addresses, game characters, networking sites, page layouts, hobbies and interests, opinions, ideas, systems or theories, and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on. With the development of all these intangible personalisation tools on the computer and the internet, are we less materialistic, or less possessive of tangible goods? Or maybe it works as a multiplier effect, convincing us that what we hold in cyberland is just as valuable as what we can hold in our hands.

If the internet failed tomorrow, completely shut down and would not work, would you pick up your phone and call your friend, and tell them what happened today? Would you pick up a pen and write to your friend you met on a forum what you think of the current education system and ask him of his opinion? Would you drive to that designer's house downtown and see their latest works? Would you not skip that class because now you can't access that lectures online? Would you print out photos of the last party you went to, stick it on your bedroom wall and invite friends and friends of friends to come see and write comments on it? Would we do any of these things even if we never had the internet in the first place? Has the internet made us lazier, or more proactive? Are we designing and inventing product and services that enhance life, or take away from the process of life? Are our dreams to work hard to live a good life, or to live life as easily and carefree and luxuriously as possible? Is not working hard a sin? Does failing school mean failing in life?

How hard do we have to try before we can satisfactorily say, "I tried my best, there is nothing more I can do." Is there a standard of how hard you should try before giving up? When there is no end in sight, when there seems to be no end or no reward, are we working to make an end, or working because that's what I've always been doing. How hard can we push the boundaries before we break it and fall out of the circle of society? One day passes onto the next with no respite, only with determination pushing you to do the things you should be doing, or want to be doing. How should we prioritise our time, that we always seem never to have enough of. Do we have role models that we aspire to, or anti-models that we aspire never to stoop as low as that. Is negativity the new black, and positivity always reaching a hand into our wallets or time or leisure or dreams. This is an awfully long and digressive post, I wonder how many people has finished reading all of it.

Well I did get a bit sidetracked from my original topic, but isn't that the way of life?

Angels Crying by E-Type
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTP0ZVWjjfA
(note: I hope this is the song I listened to cos there's no sound on this comp at uni and it beats the official mv which is really weird)

{angels crying} when you're far away from me

hitch-hiking through life

2009-10-26T14:59:00.003+10:00

Thanx to catering I've been doing a lot of extra walking, unfortunately most of the time either chasing buses or walking home at 1am. It also makes you put a lot of trust into other people, like getting into strangers' cars =S Sometimes I'm surprised I'm still alive.

One time I was asking for directions from a car stopped at the lights when I was lost somewhere in the suburb next to mine, and the three people turned out to be looking for the same suburb, and offered for me to hop in with them. I didn't have much of a choice since I was lost as all hell, and they couldn't give me clear directions either. They were pretty friendly people though, and not a serial killing gang as they could have been, and I got home much faster than if I kept on wandering around.

Oh and I got picked up by police too. On a walk back from a neighbouring suburb about 40mins walk away, I was halfway home when I spotted a stray kitty on the sidewalk of a roundabout so I stopped to pat it for a while. I seem to see a lot of cats around my suburb and they're ALL super friendly, heehee kitten love ftw. But I digress. Because the police car that pulled up next to me scared the kitten away, and I had to explain what I was doing loitering about at 1am in the middle of apparently nowhere. In the end I was 'offered' a ride back home and told off =( ah well it did save me another 20mins of walking.

Last Friday on the way to Pikenba (which turned out to be further than expected) I missed by bus stop to the venue somewhere in the industrial suburb, and got off near some shops to ask for directions. I had missed the stop by a km, and was about to run through the midday sun on a dusty road back, when the truckie who gave me directions offered to drive me to there instead. It was my first time riding in a truck so I thought that was quite fun, and that it would have been a long run back.

Shows that there are good people out there who are willing to take a stranger into their car, and go out of their way to help them out or keep them safe. Just gotta pick them out from the seemingly-normal weirdos who will strangle you in their car, bury you in a sandpit and steal your shoes O___O

Butterfly by Karl Wolf (ignore the 30sec beginning)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEoH1JQTxIo

this dame's like a butterfly moving from side to side
shaking that thing in front of my eyes
<(^_^<) <(^_^<) ^(^_^)^ ^(^_^)^ (>^_^)> (>^_^)>

follow the yellow brick road

2009-09-30T11:13:00.004+10:00

Around after highschool everyone was celebrating that they had finally escaped prison and could roam the big, wide world. Around that time I was still struggling to choose my uni course, and was juggling a few options. I did apply for Environmental Engineering at Melbourne but eventually chickened out as the deadline drew closer, and ended up doing Business and IT in Brisbane. But after a semester, realised it wasn't exactly what I expected it to be, and dropped IT cos you couldn't join a double degree in half-year. And then at the start of this year picked up Creative Industries, but now I'm thinking of changing to Interior Design or something.

I think the problem is that I have too many broad interests, and I didn't know which one I wanted to focus on and expand. These two years of uni seems more like a test run, a long seminar on what I should do in my life, and as I've done a few more things, seen more, learnt more, went from 16 to 18, I think I've got a better idea now. There was a bit of family pressure when I said to my sister and dad that I wanted to do Interior Design, that they'd support my decision, but I shouldn't change courses again cos I'd never graduate. I think that they're kinda annoyed I didn't research this properly before I enrolled, but it had never occurred to me that I actually wanted to study Interior Design or alike until I had done my Business courses.

The inherent problem with me is that I want to do everything at once, and end up doing nothing at all. I don't have a very strong grasp of time (including time management) and I feel like I'm wasting the time I have away if I'm not doing everything I want to do, but I have so many interests I never prioritised them, I just ended up picking something cos I couldn't choose between them. But now I'm thinking - I'm 18 this year, I'm still young, in two years I'll be 20, and what can I have done by the time I'm 20? I'm never one for setting goals, but it gives me something to do now, rather than wishfully thinking I wish I could do something, and not acting towards it. When the average Australian life span is about 60-70 years, that means I'm only in the 25-30% of my whole life.

So I'm going to finish this degree, and find a job in the advertising industry. Earn some money to pay for my next set of tuition fees, where I can study Interior Design or something like it, and eventually move into that industry. Meanwhile, be more proactive in finding another job where I can get more bar experience, while at home I'm going to buy my own mixing set and wallpaper my room with cocktail/drinks preparation instructions so I can learn them myself. I think I'm a bit happier now that I know what I like and what I want to be doing, as well as more focused. If something else crops up that I want to do, even if it's not what I planned it to be right now, then so be it I'll follow it to the end.

And when I'm 20, hopefully I can say to you guys, hey look, I've got a degree that's gonna set me on my road, I've got good opportunities ahead of me, and I'm a bartender in my spare time, I'm still spending a lot of time with friends, and I'm loving what I'm doing.

Look Me In My Face by Brandon Hines

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYSU9hOdhSI

Klub Kandy

2009-09-29T10:27:00.003+10:00

Well well last night I finally went clubbing with Liv (my birthday didn't really count cos the place was almost deserted). After missing the train back to my house, I managed to make it to Milton and rushed to my house only to find the outside gate locked. We live on the lower level, and there's a small gate to the left of the house that leads from the upper level to the lower, and sometimes if we don't hold onto the gate properly it slams pretty loudly and we must have pissed off the people up top pretty badly because they put some stuff between the gate and the wall to soften the fall, as well as locked it. And I didn't have the gate key on me.

So I called my trusty housemates, who turned out they had just arrived at IGA about 10 minutes away to do some shopping. So I told them to stay put and I'd run over, grab the key and run back. There are two routes from the house to IGA, one shorter but goes uphill then downhill, and the other a bit longer and mostly flat the whole way. I was carrying a pretty heavy bag so I decided I didn't want to run up a hill just at that moment so I went the other way, and just as I made it to IGA and found Demon, he was on the phone saying "...she's standing right in front of me now..." Satomi had grabbed the key and gone home, walking the other way from me, saying "there's no way we could miss each other on the way" and arrived at home about 2 seconds before I got to Demon. Too good.

Well anyway I finished shopping with Demon and went home, him treating me to some ice cream on the way so I guess that made up for it :P Living in a sharehouse we made a lot of rules, and sectioned off most parts of the kitchen and bathroom for food/items that aren't to be shared, and sometimes we have to be careful we don't accidentally eat/use someone else's stuff. We also have to buy our own ice cream cos everyone eats it too quickly XD When we first got the house, it was meant to be Demon, Justin and I - but then Justin bailed. So Demon got Satomi, and now there's this Mainlander chick called Lin (there's four rooms in the house - but only one bathroom T__T) who I haven't even seen yet cos she's either already out or not back yet every time I'm home. And I haven't moved in yet because there wasn't any internet, and we had to get a phone line installed, and it's taken ages, and we can't get internet for another two weeks. Goes to show, can't live without internet :P

Anyway back to the story. I grabbed the stuff I needed from my house and headed over to Liv's, now that she lives only three streets away from me. I still had to print off a map to make sure I was on the right road though. When we got there, her brother took us out to get pizza at Pizza Capers, a pizzeria (?) that makes gourmet pizzas. I wouldn't say it's the best pizza I've ever eaten, but I suppose it was ok? :S The potato one was pretty interesting to have on pizza haha. Cal and Raye were supposed to join us for dinner, but they were still in Sunnybank so we said we'd meet them outside Klub Kandy. After pizza we got dressed, and our dubious ride, Alex arrived.

I had met Alex a few days prior in one of Liv's lecture, and he was pretty weird: quiet, looked a bit shifty, spoke quietly with a bit of slurring, dressed down. I was tired that day so I was annoyed when he was trying to talk to me but I couldn't understand him much so I mostly ignored him, but Liv said "he was a bit weird but a good guy, just give him a chance" so I decided I'd try to be friendlier, since he was driving us around. He had to charge his phone a bit cos it was out of batteries, and while we were waiting we chatted a bit, which confirmed my suspicions, that he really is just weird. He was also older than I expected, 26, and Liv is only 19, so... well I made some assumptions right there.

He drove us off the the Valley, his driving a little whack and sometimes sped but got us there at 10pm, and we joined Cal and Raye in the line. Since we were there early the line was pretty short. Cal and Raye were holding a pack of beer and, not wanting to ditch it, tried to slam it all down before we got it. I tried to help, but it tasted so bad I passed mine on =.= Beer is definitely not something I'd wanna binge on, I prefer my sweeter drinks. We got in, got some drinks, and went downstairs and started watching people dance. The music was hmm so-so, I'm not sure what the big fuss about KK is, it's a nice looking place and all, but nothing really spectacular. The music was a mix of rnb, pop and some technoey stuff, not bad but not always great. The theme was Halloween so a lot of people came dressed up, but I couldn't be bothered. I was surprised at the efforts some people made though: there were quite a few well-costumed vampires, a chewbacca, a bloody ghost, lot of angels/devils, and two girls who turned up in masks and lingerie (it was hot XD) Oh yea and Alex disappeared because he didn't like staying in one place for long and to call him when we wanted to go.

We alternated between downstairs and resting in the middle level a bit, the upper level being way too crowded and consequently way to hot to stay there long. Everyone ran into a lot of friends there, sometimes good sometimes bad, from highschool friends to Liv's ex. But it's always the company that you keep, and Cal and Raye were great company. I think it would be so weird, and probably a bit awkward if it was only Liv and I dancing together, and we'd probably end up leaving early cos we'd get bored, but the guys were there to keep things interesting. There were three small, round platforms on the dancefloor people could get up to dance on, and a few times Cal would make people get down from there so we could get up XD KK also had some dancers that, well, danced :P and fire spinners, that was pretty kool.

When we finished our fun and wanted to go, we called Alex but his phone had run out of batteries completely, and nowhere to be found. We walked back to where he parked the car and found that section was actually a no stopping zone and all the cars around there copped a $60 ticket each. We eventually decided to go back into the club to look for him, and just as we were about to split up and search Liv spotted him near the entrance, and we nabbed him to take us back home, Alex looking a bit more burnt that before. Cal needed to go to the bathroom so I said I'd wait for him while the others went back to the car, sitting on the couches at the entrance next to a half drunk girl and her friend. She put her face really close to mine to look at my face, then turning back to her friend to slur something, then looked back at me and said "I love you" I was really tempted to give her a kiss to see what she would do, but I guess I wasn't really game haha. And also if her friend turned out to be her lesbian lover I don't want my eyes scratched out. So I gave her my glowstick and went out after Cal.

I joined Cal and Raye chatting near the car while Liv and Alex went to 7-11 to get some food. In a bit I got a call from a distraught Liv who said Alex was getting into a scuffle with a taxi driver, and we ran over to 7-11 but the taxi driver was already gone. Apparently Alex was giving the cab weird looks, and the taxi driver yelled "what are you looking at?" which made Alex mad and he went over and hit the bonnet. The taxi driver got out and they both started yelling at each other and Liv got really scared. She started crying and when she calmed down a bit we trekked over to the car and drove off, though I really would've preferred Raye to drive. Alex drove Cal and Raye back to Sunnybank to get their car, and then us back to Paddy. On the way he was asking us "oh, can you spend some time with me smoking and chatting and stuff?" like he had absolutely no clue Liv was scared and had been crying. I got pretty mad, but Liv was half-asleep on my lap in the car so I just told him to drive us home.

So a good night, ended up a little whack. I wouldn't say Liv's judgment of people is bad, but being the sociable person she is, attracts a lot of other people. She doesn't really wanna see him again, but seeing that she really likes going to the lectures he'd be able to find her, and I'm making sure she isn't going to be copping any harrassment from him. On the other hand, that was a hella fun night with Cal and Raye. Next time I want to try find a techno or electronica club, or maybe even trance XD

Down by Jay Sean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4H3Y5EK3QQ

So baby, don't worry

You are my only

You won't be lonely

Even if the sky is falling down

Journey of a Drink

2009-09-20T01:19:00.002+10:00

Well well my advertising unit is going quite well, and has been pretty interesting so far. The fact of the industry is that most of the times, as a creative designer or copywriter for ads, you'll get pretty boring stuff you have to make it seem like it's the greatest thing on earth, even if it's literally just a pile of bricks or something. But the tutor has been liking my work, so I'm pretty proud of that, but apparently my headlines are pretty weak, which is strange, because I've always thought that my written creativity was stronger than my visual, but I guess that's kinda been gettin rusty since I read so little lately. Reminds me I gotta get the sequel to Bridge to Holy Cross off Calvin. And the book Dexter seems pretty interesting too.

Anyway the focus of this post is about the journey of a drink, and about branding.

Ok so I was in my advertising lecture, and I had just rushed over from another lecture from the other campus, and I had forgotten my lecture notes as well as my notebook so I had to take notes on a piece of paper with printed words all over it already so it was quite messy. When the tutor called for a 5 minute break, most people rushed out either to go home or get food. I sat there, stretched, and took a breather. Then someone came back with a cup of coffee they had bought from a stall from the next block. Now I had forgotten my water bottle so I was pretty thirsty, and water seemed pretty bland compared to the enticing and unique smell of coffee wafting over from two seats away. But I thought about the stall where he had bought it from (and I could be sure because it had their logo printed on the cup) and I remember the coffee didn't taste so great last time I got it there so I would restrain myself this time and go without.

After enduring the coffee smell for the rest of the lecture, I walked out and went past the net black, but the caffee craving was still there, so I said to myself "if I see another coffee place I'll buy a cup." Forgetting there was another coffee stall at the entrance off the uni. So when I walked past I said I'd go get a cup, even though I didn't really trust the quality of the coffee there either, but I'd give it a try anyway. So I ordered my coffee from the dude there, after two other guys in front of me, and waited to the side, and after me another girl ordered after me. And it took ages and ages. While standing there waiting I was wondering if I should tell him I didn't want it anymore and walk away since I hadn't paid yet, but I was justifying in my mind "well I already asked him for it, and he seems to be pretty confident with coffee-making.... this better be an awesome cup of coffee..."

Turns out the delay was because there wasn't enough hot water in the coffee machine, but when I finally got my coffee, walked away and took a sip, it was pretty bland, not creamy and overall a really bad cup of cofee. I was pretty disappointed since it completely did not justify standing there waiting for it for 10 minutes, and instead of fulfilling my coffee craving, it only increased it. So my mind immediately popped to Gloria Jeans, where I usually get coffee from, so I walked into the city, and as I walked into the GJ store in Borders, I changed my mind from their vanilla latte to the vanilla chiller. I had it last time and the taste suddenly came rushing back. So i oredered it and paid, but then the counter boy said "ooohh sorry, I just forgot, we don't serve cold drinks anymore tonight. I'm so sorry it just completely slipped my mind. Would you like a latte instead?" No sorry, I don't really feel like a hot drink anymore, even though it was a pretty cold night. Disappointed even more than before, I took my money back and walked out of the store, wondering where I could get my coffee chiller buzz.

And looked over the road to see the green glowing sign of Starbucks. Oh that's right, I had almost forgotten there were any other brand coffee places around except for GJ. Walking into Starbucks, I looked at their menu, and found the prices were even more expensive than GJ, who was already more expensive than that no-name stall outside QUT. But I was already inside, so I would get my cup of whatever. Then I saw their green tea frappe, and instantly remembering I used to love it and I hadn't had it for about 2 years now, changed my mind again, and this time successfully got a green tea frappe.

Sipping happily through the straw on the way home, I realised I had just spent about $10 on fulfilling an impulse desire, no less guided by brand names embedded in my mind. For this small (but expensive) pleasure, it took quite a long journey to get to it. What is this addiction that makes us go buy something we don't need, or the obsession that makes us keep chasing? Lately I've been spending quite a lot of money on impulse food and drinks, even though I should be saving money and eating thriftily. I blame a lot of it on stress (I've also been eating a lot of choco and snacking quite a lot so my weight is kinda expanding) but I guess I brought it on myself. Just goes to show I really don't have a lot of self-control when it comes to food, or I guess istuff in general. I usually don't buy much, and I think my mind justifies for me that when I do spend it's ok cos I usually don't, but when I do buy stuff it can get pretty expensive.

Well well that concludes this post; a big story for something very very trivial. Another post on other stuff later.

I Wanna Be Adored by the Stone Roses
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g09GzbctlA

got work?!

2009-08-14T14:24:00.004+10:00

YES I FINALLY GOT A JOB!!!!!! *cries tears of joy*

Late one night I had a argument with a good friend of mine over something entirely trivial, and it really annoyed me that I had to take that kinda shit from a friend, but we both didn't want to keep fighting so we both went offline early. But I was so troubled that I couldn't sleep at all. So at 4am I got out of bed, turned on my computer and fired off a dozen resumes and cover letters to jobs on Seek. I'd been complaining to myself for a while about not having a job, and even manually handing out resumes had yielded no results. At 5am I finally thought myself a job well done and went back to bed. And that afternoon I got a call from one of the advertisers who asked me in for a interview.

What I said: "Yes thank you very much for contacting me."
What I thought: "OMGOMGOMGYESYESYESYES someone wants me!!!!"

Completely psyched for the interview (wasn't really that nervous) I pulled out the white shirt and black vest I had bought a month previously for exactly this purpose. Until I tried it on and realised that the shirt couldn't be tucked into my pants. I was typing desperately to a girl from highschool about the proper way of wearing a vest and shirt, how pathetic..... But although I was told that it would be better to tuck it in the shirt just would not comply so I left it out hoping no one would think "wow this girl does not know how to dress herself."

The interview was pretty early in the morning so I had to set a few alarms to make sure I woke up on time. And the interview was more like an induction anyway... *knock knock* oh hi, I'm so-and-so, welcome to the company, here fill in some forms, carry a few plates, watch a boring video, here have a name tag. And btw can you work tomorrow night? HELL YES I CAN XD

It's a hospitality recruitment agency, so for functions or big events they'll send little worker bees like us out as waiters/bartenders/servers and whatnot. The pay is very good, $18+/hour, but the hours per week are very inconsistent, and I have to find their clients' venues to work and get back home, usually at 1am. My first shift was in the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre where some auction dinner was going on. Funny how after 7 hours of working I can't exactly say what the function was about. Some rugby league thing I think. But it was really complete hell == First thing I had to do after they talked to us was hold a full tray of drinks for half an hour for pre-dinner drinks. Gaaawwwddd it felt like my arms were going to snap off. I usually hold trays in my left hand but I had to keep swapping to my right hand cos my left hand was cramping up so badly it wouldn't stop shaking. While walking around I accidentally dropped a glass of champagne off my tray and it shattered on the floor. I could tell my face was going completely red and I looked extremely flustered cos a few colleagues were like "Just calm down it's ok, it happens." Although I didn't really make any friends on that night the people from my agency were really quite friendly.

After that me and another girl were in charge of pouring drinks and stuff for a couple of tables, and my hands were still cramping so badly I spilt two glasses of wine (white fortunately) as I was pouring. Wasn't until later in the night when I could feel them again I could pour wine/water without taking their glass off the table. The rest of that night wasn't so bad. The food looked really spectacular, and I really wanted to steal the plates of dessert that hadn't been touched but sadly they all had to go in the bin *cries*

All in all it was quite a fun night, was a test of endurance the whole way through. By the end of it my arms were aching terribly and I could hardly lift my left arm above waist height. At home and the next day I had to take Panadol so I could get to sleep. Catering for functions is really tough work, and the good thing about my agency is they will text me about an upcoming job and you can choose to accept or refuse it by text, but I guess my phone bill is going to skyrocket. I would be tempted to refuse jobs that don't suit me, or accept jobs I know will be easier but I really need the money. Going to be moving out of home soon so I'll have to be paying my own rent and food and all the bills. Moving out with two friends, hopefully by the end of this month or just asap, as soon as we find a suitable place. With assignments rushing up I really need to pick up my act on studies, haven't really been doing a lot since semester started unfortunately.

This is going to be a long post but I guess I might as well write about uni as well. My two Business units this semester are Advertising Copywriting and Media Planning. Copywriting is kind of like designing the pitch/comcept/text/visual of an ad, really good fun. Requires a lot of creative thinking. The first assignment product for this is Darrell Lea's fruit-flavoured liquorice. I haven't had liquorice for years and years so I was pretty excited at this. But I bought a bag and tried it out and it was disappointing in almost every aspect except the packaging. The 'liquorice pieces' weren't in long, fun, twisted strips as I thought it would be, and the flavouring was really quite bland, and tasted just like normal candy. The chunks of liquorice were too long to eat all at once but I couldn't take a bite out of one and put it back in the bag I was sharing, and I got stuck to my teeth a lot. But anyway I guess this is where creativity steps in to make it seem like a good product for people to buy. Media Planning is how advertising spots/places are bought on different types of media, and how the type of media will suit what types of advertising. The assignment for this is pretty research heavy and I should really start on that.

My Creative Industries units are, well, less bullshit than it was last sem at least. One is all about how people speak, communicate effectly and conduct interviews. It's fairly interesting, and for the assign. I have to conduct an interview of my own, still haven't decided on my topic yet though, or who to interview *worry* The other unit is all about making connections, with the assign. about creating an event which connects with the community, location, sponsors, blahblahblah. Yea you get the point. There's two Facebook groups that were made for the sole purpose of flaming the previous unit, and apparently most of the past students has joined that network. Haha I found that pretty hilarious since I really thought the previous unit was utter utter bullshit and time/money-wasting. This is an obvious sign that something is wrong with that unit and should be altered to make it more relevant to students. This semester is pretty assignment-heavy, so I should really start working *worries some more*

Eh that's enough of a spam post, here's a nice song to finish it off:

I'll Fly With You by Gigi D'Agostino
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kTU_kGB9KA

Sometimes techno has the best love songs. Also check out his other songs The Riddle and Bla Bla Bla, they have crazy mvs :P

back on solid ground

2009-07-22T02:24:00.003+10:00

As much of a city girl I am, there's really something about the country that touches me. It's just something real. Not to say that buildings and cars aren't real, but there's just something about birds and trees, the sound of water rushing past, the sunlight filtering through the sky, that just touches me. Sides it's good to look at green stuff.

The other day I went over to my friends house and we spent an hour playing with their 1.5 year old Irish Setter (who is pretty big already). We'd throw a tennis ball, the dog would go get it, then we'd spend 10 mins trying to get the ball back from him. That dog is really a major tease; he'd come to you offering the ball, then when you stretch your hand out to take it he'd move his head back just out of reach. Of course he was faster when it came to chasing him around, so we usually had to resort to cheap tactics to get it from him XD But we had great fun running around trying to tire him out, and got all grassy rolling around on the garden. He's such an endearing, alebit huge, puppy, always trying to steal stuff :P If you were standing still, he'd come up to you and lean all his body weight on you so if you were unprepared he'd bend your knees and knock you down. Heehee so much puppy love.

I went round today handing out a bunch of resumes, hopefully get at least one answer. As always I overestimated how many resumes I'd need and printed off way too many :X maybe just hand the rest out anyway, just so I don't have to hang onto them XD Back to uni now T__T

The opening and ending songs of Sayonara Zestubou Sensei - which is actually pretty hilarious :P great anime to watch, slow paced, twisted humor

Opening - Hitotoshite Jiku ga Bureteiru (I think it means This Person is Twisted)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM8ODecbuhA#watch-main-area
The mv is kinda weird/creepy, and pity there's no translation of the lyrics in this vid

Ending - Zessei Bijin (絶世美人)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sQViBuWSNk
Mv also kinda creepy, but it's meant to be that way, and great art/animation, translation

spooky

2009-07-15T01:42:00.002+10:00

I found this fun rhythmy game kinda called Audiosurf where you control a little ship at the bottom of the screen with your mouse/arrows and you have to catch coloured blocks and dodge greys blocks that come down in three lanes. The great thing about it is it synthesises the song you choose from your own collection so you can listen to all the songs you like. If it's a fast song then the whole 'trip' is sped up with high traffic, and if it's a slow song then it's just a fun thing to play XD

Last Sat my msn fried itself and I couldn't log in for a few days (still can't). So much for setting it to expire every 72 days as a security measure when all it does is suddenly make your msn inaccessible to yourself. I feel so annoyed that I'm not online (not as annoyed as I would be if I had not net at all), not because that I'm not talking to people, but that the choice I have of talking to people isn't there anymore. Though I have had the opportunity to catch the last week of Master Chef and I think I know why it's so addictive XD But I'm really there for the food :P

Such a groovy song: Spooky by Dusty Springfield
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvNf0zJz2iA

heehee holidays

2009-07-04T21:17:00.002+10:00

I just realised I've only got 2 weeks until semester 2 starts again and I still haven't blogged. I guess that's cos my holidays hasn't really been eventful at all. No goals no successes, just lazing about, as I would.

Went out with Liv, Louis, Sherlyn and Rich today to watch Hangover. It was unexpectedly good, even if they did draw on quite a few stereotypes and cliches that made me cover my eyes cos I couldn't stand watching it. But the bit I did actually burst out laughing was with the azn dude going "toodoolooooooooooo muthafuckkaaaaaaa" XD But the movie I actually wanna watch is Year One, maybe I'll drag someone in to watch it with me, cos it seems a bit pointless (and lonely) to watch a movie by yourself in the cinema.

I love the feeling how good friends will be there whenever you need them, and vice versa. But how can you tell if their motives are the same? I hate to think that people will do stuff for other people just cos they want to get with the other person. And when they realise that's not going to happen, they go "fuck you, piss off" and completely ignore you. Is it that if you can't give them anything they're not going to give anything back to you? Were these people friends of yours at all? And you're left wondering, "should I put up with them now cos they're still my friends, or should I just not bother cos they're not either?" Even if you put in the effort, it's not guaranteed they will. Where's the bottom line?

Just getting mad and tired by this.

First Love by Craig David
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN2k8SrAH_M
Where's Your Love? also by Craig Daivd
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ke3XIHs-g3o

procrastination

2009-06-16T06:29:00.003+10:00

Oh what people will do in their spare time, or to avoid doing something else they have to do (that's why I'm on here). Exams rushing up, and still I manage to waste a whole day doing..... I don't even know :S This morning woke up mega early to sort out class allocations after staying up to help my friend organise a schedule because they didn't do it earlier. But when I got online it turned out the site had already auto-allocated times for my classes, and amazingly, were all the times I needed! Completely elated with this stroke of good luck, I went back to bed for an hour nap, woke up three hours later and proceeded to stuff around with my game for another few hours, before I slowly reviewed one chapter of my textbook.

Everyone being in different cities, how is the swine flu epidemic going where everyone is? I heard Australia is now one of top countries with the most identified cases :S I've been holed up in my house for the last few weeks with exams and assignments so I've pretty much been in the clear, but I really need to find a new job, and to do that I will have to venture outside :X Hope no one is sick

Well here's a song from the new Hilltop Hood album:
50 in 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu5zUZrwlWE
Be sure the listen to the lyrics - 50 years in 5 minutes

At first I was like "hmm wow they sure have a lot of stuff to talk about" and then I thought, it's because we have so many problems that they have so much to talk about. But on the same note, we're all so distanced and desensitised to all this, just don't feel like it's happening in our reality. A lot of people still don't take the current recession seriously, because we've never known anything but a stable and growing economy, national safety, great education. All the stuff like the recession, terrorism, growing student debt, they all are just a minor obstacle, not really serious, just a pain to take care of. What's the perception we're all looking through? We're all too focused on our immediate lives, it's hard to take in what's happening around Australia, the whole globe.

no light without darkness

2009-05-31T18:43:00.002+10:00

If you knew that you'd meet a certain someone in the future, that you would become good friends with and share good times, but you knew you would hurt them in the future, would you still go meet them?

Short post but here's are some nice songs anyway:
Konayuki (Powdered Snow) by Remioromen from A Litre of Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DayRtlDtfg
Uso (Lies) by SID from FMA2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSR6Xigb_iU

Tunnel of Light

2009-05-23T16:32:00.002+10:00

Sometimes you feel everything is going well, and you wonder how anything bad could happen. And when it does, it feels like it's stacked up against you. Why does it have to happen all at once? On Saturday, I found out I got fired, after 4 weeks of no work, they just said "you're not hired anymore." Why they couldn't have fired me 4 weeks ago when they stopped giving me any hours anyway. I'm so pissed off cos it's so inconsidered and unprofessional. And then at night I lost my wallet on the way home. What's more aggravating, was I wouldn't have lost it if I had taken the train home, instead of my mum picking me up. And then on Tuesday I got some assignments back I thought I did quite well on, but my marks were just about average, which is going to pull down my GPA a lot, not to mention my confidence. Just trying not to wallow in self-despair, but it's hard seeing through all the darkness.

Pretty songs by Kamelot:
Ne Pleure Pas (Don't You Cry)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHGFnHD4Tlw
and
The Sailorman's Hymn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfDbHImpyI

brain activity

2009-05-15T01:41:00.002+10:00

Homo sapiens are apparently the most evolved animal because of our ability to synthesise our surroundings. learn from our mistakes, and create better solutions, amongst other reasons. But unfortunately it seems I still can't learn from my mistakes. After leaving a 2k word essay til 3 days before it was due, I was up late every night trying to type it, but even then I was procrastinating and I knew it. I didn't sleep at night and would collapse curled up on the edge of my completely trashed bed at some unholy hour in the morning. On Tuesday (the day it was due), I was frantically typing, until I decided to print off the cover sheet from Blackboard, and found it it was due the day after. So relieved was I that I then proceeded to slack off, play games and then see a friend at night. Of course, come Wednesday morning, I was once again frantically writing the last 800 words in the final few hours before I had to run to uni to hand it in.

And after finally handing the folder to the assignment desk, I went home and wanted nothing but to relax on my computer in celebration of finishing that piece of essay. Until I turned on my computer and sat staring blankly at the blue log in screen for a few minutes. The day I started working on my essay, I had also changed the password to my account I had been using for the last few months. Then I left my computer running for almost three days straight, and fell asleep completely trashed every night. I had no idea what my new password was :X So I had to call my nerdy friend for half an hour while he was teaching me how to enter safe mode on the computer, but my savvy new keyboard wasn't really cooperating, so I had to nab the keyboard from my sister's room to fix it. Thankfully it finally complied and I got back into my account. But I still wonder what I had actually set my password to.....?

Instead of songs here are two awesome ads I saw in my advertising lecture:
Nike Tag > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpyhpisoWf4
Byrlcreem Effortless > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOYTQKoJ1N8

Head hurts

2009-05-08T13:02:00.002+10:00

eh my head hurts, so much stuff going on lately. Why is there an inability for people to just say shit? Instead of just opening their mouth in your direction and telling you wtf they want, and working it out with you, they'll dance around you, dropping hints and tips, and get angry/disappointed when you have no idea what they're talking about. You just wanna grab them by the shoulders and yell "SAY WHAT YOU WANT IN FIVE WORDS OR LESS OR GET OUT OF MY SIGHT" But you don't want to scare them off to oblivion and never see them again. You don't want to hurt their feelings, at the same time, getting very sick of keeping up with their little mind-games, getting sick of running out of the house at 10pm to go see people, getting sick of staying up til sunrise to chat with someone staying up, getting sick of not being able to call someone cos you don't know if they wanna hear from you.

Youtuby link > Breakeven by The Script
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2omyqxbsKw

third week?!

2009-03-12T14:15:00.002+10:00

Eh these few consecutive weeks has been so screwed up on so many lvls. Hm when was my last post? Oh right.

Well I went out last weekend with Pasky, Vong and Liv, jsut going out, chilling and some drinks. Had dinner at Amici's, which they lost our booking but got us a nice secluded table anyway. Maybe too secluded cos we couldn't find a waiter, but the food there was entirely awesome! Living alone made me cut down on food a lot, especially dinner, so lately I've been eating a lot less than I've been able to before. Maaaybbbee not such a good thing, but then again, maybe it is o.O

Afterwards we bused to the casino (Liv and I complaining about our shoes the whole way). The Brisbane casino is nice, but then again, so plain compared to other cities. And it's really amazing being in there, not because of my surroundings, but because of what people were doing. So many different people, some dressed up, some kinda hobo-looking, people by themselves, with dates, sitting at the roulettes, at the pokies, trying to catch the attendants out, or have no idea what they were doing. Pasky has a bit of a gambling addiction with the roulette, and just burnt through $100 in 5 minutes. It's a good thing he earns so much.... I was amazed that everything was so complicated, and yet so simple. He explained a few rules about roulettes to me, and showed Liv how to play the pokies (which I thought was an even bigger waste of money than roulettes or poker but anyway).

When Vong decided Pasky had lost enough already, we headed over to the Embassy to chill. I's mostly for drunk working adults who think they're kool and want a night out to be 'free', and being slightly under that range, felt a bit out of place, and when we tried to go dancing, I hadn't had enough alcohol yet to not feel stupid, so yea...felt extremely stupid amongst the crowd. Good music though.

Cal was meant to meet me at about 11pm, but he never showed, so Pasky drove me home. I found out later (last night actually) that he'd been sick and was sleeping for the whole weekend. Hopefully he'll be ok to come out with me this weekend before I hole myself back up and binge study for exams.

Talking about school, it turns out I've made a complete mess of my enrolments and I had a shitty time patching up my mess on Tuesday. The Creative Industries campus: Kelvin Grove, is is very village like, very idealistic and picturesque, which is nice to the point where it's kind of freaky, cos reminds me of one big Sim Uni or something. It's like one big long road with buildings on either side, one end being on a hill, dipping down in the middle, then another hill on the other end of the village. Of course, my courses were situated on either ends of the campus. And of course the two student centres were also situated at opposite ends of the hill, so while I was trying to get the right forms, talk to the right people and get to the right classes, Tuesday had me running back and forth, up and down those damn hills all day. There were certainly no convenient classes or buildings that were next to each other, each separate thing I did required it's own personal space and own damn hill.

At least work is giving me some more hours. Well more accurately, I've just been swapping shifts with people who want to leave early, so I get those extra hours. Which is good while I'm not tooooooo busy with assignments yet, but since I am a second year Business student, doubtless this year requires a heck lot more effort than the half-assed job I did last year.

Nice techno song to finish this post off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dBu5X3TvNw
Interesting mv as well.

eh headachey

2009-03-06T02:20:00.002+10:00

well well into the second week of uni, trying not to slack off already. I've cut down on a lot of gaming I'm kinda proud to say, kinda because mostly I'm bored with it, cos all my ingame friends have all gone back to school as well and i hardly see them.

My Creative Industries (CI) subjects are half fun half complete and utter bullshit. One of the units, I have to take a bunch of photos, hand them in, and get marks =D awesome. But I'm actually putting quite a lot of effort into that one, enlisting a lot of friends as models, doing some basic research and storyboarding like mad. I'll probably run out of steam later on when I get busy with Business, but at least I can do my best now. The other unit is meant to be some video subject, but at the moment all i'm getting is that ridiculous bonding shit.

Business is deeper and more refreshing that ever. Advertising is still very interesting to me. The lecturer has a really soft voice, which is funny cos he puts in all these random jokes which you have to pick up from his monotone. He's kinda slack, brushing on the theory work and telling us to just read the textbook, but he searches up a lot of links to ads which I find pretty funny. But then again I've fallen asleep in both his lectures now, just cos I'm so tired at the end of the day. Consumer Behaviour (my other Business sub) is almost completely theory based, which is good for me, but some bits I don't get cos the lecturer whizzes past it too quickly, and the tutes is more like theory bashing time than anything else.

Work is being annoying and the manager is only giving me 3 hour shifts per week, but I've found people to swap with me on the night so I usually end up closing and going the extra 2-3 hours, which is good. I've also emailed some company about voice actors they need, and they emailed back to ask if I was still interested. I'm a bit hesitant about it...since after a look at their website (www.ajokeonhold.com) it kinda looks.....weird - not sure I'm that insanely happy and funny, even if I don't have to come up with my own jokes. But I guess this is just trying out something I wouldn't normally.

Being planning on going out clubbing for a while, and a friend said he'd take me around this weekend. I'm having a bit of a rough time on my own so going out will be good hopefully, sides spending more money. I'm meant to be saving to go to Japan at the end of the year, but since Liv has been throwing her money away like water, I'm not sure if she'll be able to go anymore...

Well hopefully a continuing trend, here's another nice song to end the boring post with:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VztcHnFoExQ

Continuous Story - Kuroishi Hitomi (Code Geass R2)
btw: Hitomi has a really lovely voice, most of her other songs are also beautiful (e.g. Sensibility)

Semester 3!

2009-02-23T22:46:00.002+10:00

Ehh start of school, not really psyched. I am psyched to type this on my keyboard though (Logitech Illuminated) all nice and smooth and flat like a laptop. Takes a bit of getting used to but very nice, and much quieter.

First class of Creative Industries today. Got a bit lost and found the building but couldn't find a way in until i realised there was only one lecture hall in the whole building so the whole thing worked out ok.

The lecturers were all kinda iffy with me, but maybe that's just a Business student perspective. Trying too hard to be funny or whatever. Though the powerpoints was an interesting change. After holing myself in my hosue for so long, feels kinda surreal sitting with so many people, especially since i was just part of the crowd, with no one addressing me directly. I think I'm really going to hate all the personal shit the Creative Industries people wants, I prefer to just do what I have to do and get over it in a more distant perspective, but again, Business student speaking again. Some of the assessment seems kinda interesting, and I'm trying very hard to put some enthusiasm and perserverence into this, rather than falling back into my usual slackness.

Tired

addiction

2009-02-19T02:23:00.002+10:00

Sometimes I really find myself thinking too much into stuff, when other people just kinda skim the surface. Of course, should I bother investigating deeper, or is the reason why people stay above the surface is because there's no real reason to go deeper. After a while I just confuse myself and wonder if I'll go prematurely mad.

Not having my mum around the house is pretty relaxing for me, minus the lack of food obviously, but after some hedging from friends I've tried to be a bit more proactive about putting some healthier dietary options in my meals.

I've noticed myself as a person I like trying a lot of new things, but rarely am I really good at them. It's currently showing itself to be a liability to myself, so, as the year of adventure, it's probably also the year for dedication. Pick a few things and capitalise on it. I'm trying this year, to be a bit sportier. Not looking to pick an actual sport, maybe do some exercises at home, and play a bit more DDR. Dunno, that sorta thing, haven't really thought my way through it all yet.

I'm still so slack, for example I still haven't learnt how to drive yet, cos I'm too damn lazy to find a driving instructor and organize times, also because I refuse to drive my mum's car, not because it's a FWD and auto as I usually whinge, but because my mum has touched it, and I'm still really touchy about touching my mum's things.

Ehh last week for binge gaming and I'm doing my best at lying around the house doing absolutely nothing at all. I'm getting really fed up with work because I get pretty down if the co-workers I like (at least one of them) aren't working that shift, because I the thought of dragging through those hours without someone who doesn't secretly wishes I wasn't there really pulls me down. I do my job efficiently, I'm proud to say, I'm good with (most) customers, I don't drop a lot of stuff any more, but once I turn around I feel like my whole spirit just fell through my shoes and I'm wiping it on the floor. I make an effort to be less clumsy, but when I'm tired or rushed, inevitably I trip over a lot of stuff.

Ok maybe I'm forcing my posts a bit, but maybe that's good, since my thoughts are so random and memory so bad, I tell myself I'll do something then I forget about it the next second. There's a few more important things I want to blog about...but atm I don't really feel like talking about too deeply. Goes in the first section of the blog.

Well since I just finished playing with my mmo pet guess I'll end this post here, nite~

Home Alone~~ again

2009-02-17T14:56:00.002+10:00

Yaaaaaayy my mum has gone to Canberra to help my sister move out, so she'll be gone for about a month, and the house is all mine again!!!! *dances of joy* cept for the fact I can't cook *pours self a bowl of cereal* uhhh yea that's pretty much all I've been eating...simplistic XD

Of course not having my mum around does have minor inconveniences, like not being able to get driven around, but since she doesn't do that much anyway it doesn't really make a difference. Awesome thing is I can come and go as I please, and can stay out later in the city with my friends. But having to do my own shopping, washing the dishes, which actually isn't so bad. I guess moving out isn't a problem if I can move in with someone who can cook for me =D

Ehh finished my final summer unit, last week of holidays before I'm back to school again. Was too slack to study for it even though I had heaps of spare time, until the day before, so starting from 12pm on Thursday til 4am on Friday, took a half hour nap, then kept on studying til 6:30, then had to get changed and take the train through the rain and cold. And then of course I had work afterwards, which lasted til 12:30am Saturday, and managed to crawl home at 1:30am. Then of course unlike any normal person who would have gone straight to bed, I gamed til 4am to celebrate my freedom :P Which then of course it left me wasted for the next few days.

Oh yeaa was Valentines. Justin's birthday party: azn bbq at Southbank (quite a lot of people turned up), met a few new people, and a few old friends and everyone was having fun. The guys had a few drinks at Fat Louis and played dice, the girls played cards and sat around. Got dragged to watch a movie, not too bad though. Thoroughly bored and tired by the time I got home. It's annoying when someone keeps mentioning the fact that you look unhappy, let's try do shit that will make you potentially happier, when you want nothing else but to be left to your own devices, but you don't want to hurt their feelings.

That's really it for now. Gotta mail some coats and stuff down to Canberra where it's apparently freezing, and buy new books for semester. Other than that, game time.

Filling time

2009-02-09T14:20:00.002+10:00

Well hmm over the weekend something major occurred...namely I broke up with Chris :S
There were various reasons for that decision, but whatever excuses I dredged up for him or myself did nothing to cover up the pain I felt for myself, and for hurting him so badly.

In the morning, I was overcome by a strange feeling of normality. The sun was shining so brightly, my mum going around doing what she usually does, people talking to me like there wasn't a huge gaping hole in my chest. But that was true. Through all that emptiness, nothing has changed, except for the relationship between him and me. Which now that we hardly have one at all was my fault. I'm not sure if the emptiness or the normality was self-induced, but all day I was feeling torn between those two emotions. In one sense I felt freer, but in another much more burdened.

Being 18 kinda sucks :S my feeling is that like *yay* I don't have a loving boyfriend, I have an ex. Welcome to the path to adulthood.

But last night he came over, because I had to give him some stuff back. But also because I didn't want us to end our relationship solely on the phone, and future meetings being extremely awkward and probably spiteful. But he was surprisingly understanding (not that he had a choice anyway), and we managed to end the night with a close dinner, some more hug time, and a better goodbye. When I had finished telling him we had to break up, I was struck by the fact that I would probably never feel his hugs anymore, and I deeply regretted the fact that I had not held him for just that little longer when he said goodbye on that night. But at least he was kind enough to let me make amends.

In the meantime, I'm trying not to think about it, because doubtless I will fall into a spiral of self-hate and derision, but when you're trying not to think at all, homework doesn't rank very high on the immediate to-do list. So I've just been burning DVDs and stuff, which is annoying because my burner has been very temperamental about what it wants to burn lately.

Well just keeping on top of the tide.

heartless

2009-02-08T15:47:00.001+10:00

if you are not beside me
there will be others around me
if the ones around me are gone
there will still be be myself
if i too have disappeared
emptiness shall be my companion
and it will never leave me

[how could i be so heartless?]

18th birthday

2009-02-06T15:48:00.004+10:00

Oops forgot to post about my 18th birthday. Probably the only exciting thing that happened.

Last year I invited a few friends over to my house and we played games and had a few drinks and that was about it. But this year I was kind of preoccupied with summer school and forgot about it until 2 weeks beforehand, and I really couldn't be bothered doing anything about it. But Liv and Chris took up the planning for me and promised to take care of everything, and as he said "as if I would let your 18th birthday go by and you writing an essay at home!" So those two schemers planned and schemed the whole thing up, which I thought was extremely nice of them. Not only that but he paid for most of the expenses, which I feel pretty bad about, but both of them were very adamant about me doing nothing at all :S

It was meant to be completely secret, but as well as I know them, they would eventually let things slip, which they all did XD was pretty funny when they were swearing at themselves after letting something big slip.

Well in the afternoon I went to see a friend in the city, who stood me up, so I went back home (sweating and slightly pissed off) and mucked around at home until I got dressed and went back to the city to meet people. I was wearing a pair of knee-high boots that I've had for a while, and I noticed that the right heel sqeaked a little as I was walking but I was like meh it'll be fine. We met up in Replay and played a few games while waiting for people. When most people were there we went to Madisons, a Korean kareoke bar/club. Since we didn't have any handy Koreans among us, we had to keep asking the guy who served us to fiddle with the volume knobs, but his English wasn't very good so most of our requests fell on confused ears. The room came with beer, scotch and some food. Our wonderful party planners also brought Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Baskin and Robins ice cream cake ^____^ A big thank you to those two <3

One of my friends knew the manager at that place and he very kindly shouted us a round of free drinks. After we used up our kareoke time, we went into the club adjourning the kareoke place, but it was still kind of early and absolutely deserted, so we decided to waste time at a pub them come back. We went to a pub down the road called Gilhooleys, were I got a free cocktail ^^ But pubs are so NOISY! We were sitting around a table and we had to shout at each other all the time. There was a live band playing and a mini dance floor, where people got up and mini shuffled around. I taught a few people how to play 十五二十 which had mixed results but was pretty fun still, minus all the yelling I had to do when teaching them. My bro took me dancing on the mini floor, and he's into all that modern jive shit which includes lots and lots of spinning. So me, being slightly tipsy, on 4-inch heels and no clue what he was doing, was getting dizzier by the second. He was pretty good at leading me even though I missed a lot of things, and being spun around a lot made me lose track of time so I can't be exactly sure how long we were out there for. Wasn't until I suddenly felt very unbalanced that I realised the heel of my right boot had come off XDDD So I was limping around on a heel-less boot for the next hour or so :P

Ermerm people started leaving so the people that stayed went to Pancake Manor. The guys played pool while I just chatted with Ann, who I meet pretty much once a year on brithdays now. And that was about it :P Very eventful, and much in debt to those who would not let me go without a proper eighteenth celebration.

I'll post some photos next time.

FEBRUARY?!?!?

2009-02-02T14:58:00.007+10:00

WAaaahhh it's February already :S

Reading Albie's new blog kinda makes me feel slack for not blogging enough, even though I usually say there's nothing of interest to blog about (which I suppose is why this blog is so cobwebby), and Del's blog is usually essay-length, deep explorations of thoughts and feelings. I'm trying to open my mind a bit more, understand people and myself a bit more, and try a few more things I would usually be hesitant about.

Well anyway, recently I watched a Jap movie called Battle Royale. The general storyline is that Japan's government has disintegrated, and schoolkids are running amok causing havok everywhere. Then they introduced the Battle Act, where every year, a random school class is selected for this Act. Then their teacher, with the military, busses them off to the middle nowhere, dump them on a deserted island with various weapons, and make them kill off each other. The students are stuck on the island for 3 days, each equipped with an electronic collar which tracks their location and heartbeat, and if more than one collar remains active when the 3 days are up, they will automatically explode. The game ends when there is only one student left alive. Or everyone dead.

Of course my first thoughts upon watching the movie was "Why the heck are the Japanese government promoting more homocidal teenagers into the society?!!?" But it's a movie so just go with the flow.

The movie itself is pretty good, all the young actors doing a pretty good job of being scared, confused, murderous, etc. Some of the situations are kind of amusing, probably not intended to be, but it was. E.g. There was a clan of 5-6 girls who took over a lighthouse, and were all living together quite well for two days, until one of them tried to poison a guy they rescued, which another girl ate by accident. Another girl freaked out, and tried to gun everyone down, leading to everyone picking up guns and shooting everyone else. The girl who did the poisoning of course was left alive, who then proceeded to throw herself off the lighthouse. And the guy who just woke up was like O____O to a room of dead bodies. Seems like such a girl-thing to happen *shruggz*

Some of the weapons that were given out were pretty funny. Included ones were semi-automatic guns, pistols, grenades, bullet-proof vest, shot gun, katana, tazer, poision, pot lid, binoculars, GPS tracking device, paper fan, sickle, axe, crossbow, flick knife, loudspeaker....etc

After the movie it incited a lot of "what if" situations in my mind. If my class and I were in that situation, what would I do? At the start of the game, a few people (usually couples) forfeited by suiciding by jumping off the cliff into the ocean, or hanging themselves. I have a feeling that probably wouldn't be the option I'd choose, but I don't think I'd be one of those trigger-happy individuals who killed for the fun of winning.

The summer course I'm taking at the moment of Business Law and Ethics, and in many ways it has really opened my eyes. One of the hypothetical questions asked in class has stayed with me til now: "Should we do something because we can, or because it's the right thing to do it?" So if you believe in "One should not kill", should we refrain from taking other people's lives even if it means we might lose our own? Or are these rules forgotten in abnormal situations so we can do things we wouldn't normally even think about without considering our morals? How would we be able to trust the people around us? Even the people we thought we good friends?

Well on an ending note, here's a nice song by Kanye West: Heartless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vly1D5vYPp8

bored

2009-01-22T03:46:00.002+10:00

balalalalaa~ bored
nothing to update
very bored
let me touch
so bored
nomnomnom

2009

2009-01-15T02:27:00.002+10:00

It's been a while since the new year fireworks, but still I haven't given too much thought on a New Year ambition. Lately I've been surrounded by situations that I don't want to be in, but is more or less tolerant about. Until they keep on happening when I'm tired, and suddenly it's so much more draining.

But the most taxing thing, is still my inability to make decisions. I'm not good at making on-the-spot decisions, but even when I have time to think about it, I'm still hesitating, compromising, and generally not really know what I really want.

I don't know every intimate detail of my own mind, so when I have to decide something that may have a major impact on my near-future lifestyle, I'm so transfixed with doubt that I end up doing nothing at all. Which is....worse than doing.....nothing? Oh I don't know.

But I have decided, amongst others, that my New Year resolution is as stated below:

"Make the decisions that will lead to the outcome you want to see in your life."
quote, Me.

summer..

2008-11-23T20:03:00.002+10:00

woo....summer school..... ==

Not crash-hot, but not too bad that I want to kill myself. One of my classes is all about business ethics and stuff, so the class is in a big debate about one thing or another half the class. The other unit is an intensive six day 9-4 hour class, so, can't wait til that comes by.....

Hm, summer, getting hot, stormy, and ridiculously windy. The days are bright and hot, nights are very very stormy and rainy and windy.

Beh I'm too tired to post, laters~

LAST EXAM

2008-11-08T09:52:00.002+10:00

BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Last exam to gooooooooo~~~~~~ (((^o^)))
After a week or two of intense cramming, exams will be OVA!

Some exams went surprisingly well, and some were expectedly terrible (*cough* accounting *cough*) But all in all not too bad a semester ^^

This year I'm not going back to Hong Kong or anywhere else for that matter, but as the holiadys begin, I will be going straight back to school >>> summer school.

A lot of people whinge about having not enough holidays, but there is a surprisingly large number of summer schoolers, each for their various reasons.

Well actually I still have my management exam to go at 1:30 so I should probably stop internet surfing and get on with some more studying.

But before I leave you all, if anyone has played CounterStrike, or has watched someone play, please watch this vid: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/465817.

Ta-da~

Question of the Week

2008-10-13T01:47:00.002+10:00

What are dreams? Those images playing in my head when my mind submerges itself into unconsciousness. Is REM a bodily program that continues to use the mind against our knowledge? Is paradoxical sleep the mind fighting against the body's resting stage?

When we dream, is it a video conjured up from the depths of our brains, or a continuation of thought. Written by some strange hand, we witness a play on a stage where only we can see, only to forget it when we wake up. Is what happens in our dreams what we wanted to see?

Fantastical, nolstalgic, dark, frightening, desirable, random, where do all these come from? Certainly not from knowledge is it? From memory? Or from dreaming? When I see someone I want to see, does it mean I want to see them? When I see someone I don't want to see, does it mean I don't want to see them? Possibilities; your worst nightmare; a dream you never want to wake from.

What do you want to dream tonight?

future? WHERE?!?!

2008-09-17T16:28:00.003+10:00

Oh back in the highschool days when the only choices you had to make were which English books to read and what subjects to pick, knowing you still had a chance to change it.

But suddenly in uni, you feel like you're picking subjects for life, and it can be very pressurizing. Some people (especially white people no offense), what little idea the amount of parental pressure on an azn kid to go to uni. It's like if you don't go to uni and finish well you have no future. Well maybe not for all azn kids, but most? I'm still having a lot of trouble picking a subject that I want to continue, and longing for subjects I want to do but can't.

Well that being said I do enjoy my Business units very much (most of them anyway). Just handed in my Management assignment the other day. One of the group members kicked up such a fuss before hand-in and we had to change a lot of things. Group work *shudder*

Trying to find a balance between study and games....a lot of willpower ==

Well I still have two more assignments to go, so belated post as it is, some more work to go *sigh*

First day in New Zealand

2008-07-08T20:56:00.002+10:00

Wow I haven't been back in New Zealand for about 10 years now. Crazy, to think I had ten years of anything. I left NZ when I was really little, so there's not a lot I can remember.

I was picked up by a family friend we were very close to when we lived in NZ to live at their place. Miraculously she remembered me, but maybe also because I told her I would be wearing a very conspicuous green jacket. Either way. When I got to their house I had vague flashbacks about when I visited here. The little things I did as a kid. And I was reminded of all the other little things by her too.

While I was waiting for the eldest daughter to come back and have dinner I watched a Korean movie called "Hearty Paws". Damn Koreans and their manipulation of emotions through movies!!!!! Although you could almost see it coming, it's still sad when you have to see the dog in the movie go through troubled times and dangers for his owner.

It's about a young boy and his 6 year old sister who have been abandoned by their mother. He steals a young puppy for her birthday, who then becomes part of the family. One day the three of them were playing on a frozen lake when the dog falls through the ice, and then the little sister falls as well trying to get near it. The dog manages to climb out of the water but the little girl drowns. The boy blames his sister's death on the dog and tries to chase it away. He then leaves the dog and goes to the city to find his mum, which then the dog tries to follow. He finds her, but she doesn't really care about him, and he doesn't have the heart to tell her that her daughter died, so he leaves. He then meets a pair of orphans his age that are working for some weirdo, sadistic bastard who makes money out of the kids begging for money for him. He joins them until one day his dog finally catches up to him. He's still angry at it, but no matter what he does the dog continues to stay with him.

Well...the story is too long for me to explain it all, but it is definitely a very very very good movie. Definitely an eye-wetter for all people.

Anyhow, after the movie we had dinner which was quite a delicious and enjoyable affair. And then more squabbling with my sister, then.....off to the laptop I goooooooo............== Sometimes it doesn't feel like a holiday when all I do is sit in front of the computer all night. But then you're so bored with nothing to do that you just want to sit in front of the computer.

But anyhow, tis getting late over here (2 hours faster than Brisbane) so gonna end this post short, cya everyone ^___^

Question of the week

2008-06-27T12:02:00.001+10:00

When we light a match, do we look at the mesmerising sway of the fire, or do we see what it illuminates in the darkness?

Question of the week

2008-06-23T01:33:00.001+10:00

I f

A = B

a n d

B = C

;

t h e r e f o r e

A = C

?

Holidays

2008-06-16T19:20:00.001+10:00

Yaaaayyy, exams finally over!!!! Had to pull some late nights and last minute cram but now it's all over!!!!!

Yay...off to watching anime and playing DoMO ^^"

Hehe hope everyone has plans for the hols, cyaaa

MMOs

2008-06-12T17:07:00.008+10:00

Videos games WILL ruin your life. This is fact.

-= this will be a fairly lengthy post so be prepared =-

Well recently I have taken to playing an mmo after feeling left out in my IT group discussions of my team mates about the various games they pwn at, instead of talking about our upcoming assignment. But then it prompted me to start scouring the internet for some mmo that I might be interested in for a prolonged period of time. I like Warcraft, but a bit more hesitant towards playing WoW since I don't really want to the pay the monthly fee. And this led me to DoMO.

Del or Kura or whoever was with me that night in FamilyMart (*sigh* the memories) when I bought a bunch of computer games that were ridiculously cheap. In the end, I haven't played any of them, even though they came with subscriptions and all until about the start of this year, but it was too outdated and didn't work. But then I found an English version of the one I was most interested in and dropped by their website: http://domo.aeriagames.com/ (DoMO: Dream of Mirror Online)

The thing that caught my eye are the graphics. The characters are cute, with an easy-on-the-eyes background, lots of lighting, almost perfect! It's really annoying in games where it's too dark to see anything and you have to squint at the screen all the time. I'll admit, some aspects of the game are fairly dodgy, but since it's my first mmo, I don't really have much basis for comparison.

The download was 1GB, and so I got my friend to download it for me, which would be a bit easier on my connection. Installation and various patches took an hour+, but finally, it was ready. My first dilemma: choosing a character. Below are the two characters I was tossing up between for quite a while:

In the end I chose the Shura (left) over the Sylph (right) and named it Aoneko (blue cat). Btw, although you can't see it from this angle, she has a tail XD and it swishes~

*ahem* In this game, there are many jobs, and you can level them all up. I hold about 3 jobs atm. Fighting is ok, as you level up you gain more skills and improve others. I didn't find out about them until a week into the game though, and wondered where everyone pulled those crazy attacks from. It was pretty fun exploring the city until I exhausted all the quests in it, then wah-lah! You can go outside the city. To about 10 different places. And so on and so forth.

But the point I'm trying to make is this.

Meet KaeL, my DoMO lover:

In DoMO, you can create formalised relationships with other players; friends, student/teacher and lovers. As you level up your relationship with them, you get extra attacks and other goodies. And it's also more fun to play with someone else. The downside is it makes you keep on playing....which brings me back to my first point: video games will ruin your life. Everynight since I stay up til 3-4am playing DoMO. Getting addicted to mmos are a BIG mistake. Never ever do it.

An extremely good thing about DoMO is that it's free. The catch being you have to buy extras from their website with real money. Excluding items dropped in the game, but stuff like clothing and special items. I've held back from buying stuff cos I know if I start buying anything I'll go crazy and buy everything. Recently, the prettiest pair of blue wings I've ever seen has started hitting into the market, but (un)fortunately, it's not for sale. But here's a picture anyway:

The ninja suits you saw the second picture was a freebie.

One last point to mention. You can have pets which are all jolly expensive, but we both managed to get our hands on one:

Mine looks a bit like a stupefied cat-bear thing now with bat wings, but it'll look better when it levels up.

Hmm, this post has been a while. Anyway, that's about it from me. I'm trying to cut down on it, but with the holidays coming up and all................

Hope everyone is good and looking forward to the winter holidays!!! ^______^

(One last picture, involving a glitch where you can run through other characters)

Forever...?

2008-05-25T13:03:00.003+10:00

The feelings that you once thought would last forever, you are sometimes surprised how cold and distant they really are. Once you thought you'd never let go, you suddenly realise you already had. And for a time you swore you would never regret it, but does it still hold true even now?

Like the sun rises and falls, like the moon waxes and wanes, our feelings wash over us like the coming tide.They might still be, in a hidden corner of the heart, slightly dusty but still glowing with memories, but they have long since lost the polish of use and passion.

Does it mean you don't love them anymore? Of course not. Their faces are etched deeply that time and distance cannot erase them. You still miss them, of course. It's become an ache so constant you've become used to and immune to it. You may not think of them as much, but you savour every moment you do. Should you call them? Tell them how much you miss them?

Does love change? If it was an object, does it expand in the heat, contract in the cold, fade over time, or crack under pressure?

Maybe it is your shadow, it follows you everywhere you go. Every now and then it will merge with anothers, and maybe you feel complete. But when they are gone, your shadows stays. Sometimes it might only be the faintest smudge of darkness on the ground, and sometimes it stretches out for miles. And sometimes you might look around in fear that it has deserted you, but it's still there, biding its time to come out again. And when you can't find it, it's not trapped, but completely enfolding you.

Misses you Del, Albie, Kura, Vong S2

Question of the week

2008-05-10T23:45:00.001+10:00

When one leads with no followers, can one still be a leader?

Catching Up

2008-05-07T22:53:00.003+10:00

Quite a lot of things has happened and I haven't had a chance to blog them, so this one may be a bit long.

Foremost would probably be my exams and assignments. I do pretty well if I give myself time to prepare, and not so well in the ones where I'm cramming the day or hour before. That happens I suppose but I guess I just have to organise my time better. My assignments are going pretty well too, the marks are showing how much effort I put into them. But I really hate the group work, since there's always a person who's slacking off big-time, and the other people have to cover for them.

Well, on to the parties. Bob had a farewell party for his upcoming (now in the midst) holiday in Europe. He's only going for 3 months so I'm not too sure why he needed a farewell party but he got a fairly full reception over the duration of the night. I had my first drink of Baileys there. The first taste isn't very nice, but I like the milky aftertaste.

The week after (last Saturday) Liv had her 18th birthday party. Our present is a Hello Kitty DS pouch for her new DS, but that's not in stock until July, so she'll just have to wait. In the morning we went to the Coast and had Sizzler's for breakfast. The person leading the way to the Coast got terribly lost and everyone was really pissed off for a while, but then food made everything better. Afterwards we went to TimeZone, where we managed to get 665 tickets!!!! Someone got a power card where they can play x number of games within 2 hours, so we milked it with the Deal Or No Deal game. We played so many games, and we won HEAPS of tickets. The last game we won 400 tickets!!! No kidding!!!

After TimeZone we stuffed around on the beach and got cold and wet and sandy. Then we went to someone's house for a bit of a drinkup, but it kinda turned out a disaster, so no one really stayed over.

Hmm...well....maybe not that much as happened. So many things happen all in one day that sometimes the morning seems like weeks away. This is my first year at uni, and I'm really trying to have fun and enjoy myself as well as study hard and do well.

Work at a restaurant is proving pretty stressful, though I'm glad I quit my little cheapo store. There's so much more I can learn and can give at a restaurant, and seems like a better use of my time, even if the pay isn't glorious. In fact, I just got taxed 46.5% of my wages because they didn't put in my decalre my TFN. The people there are quite nice, though the guys seem nicer than the girls, but I suppose that happens too.

That seems to be about it for now, the only thing left are my oral presentations and my final exams.

Goodnight!

Stay

2008-04-30T17:30:00.004+10:00

It was midnight and I was thinking of you
The night was cold, my breath frosted in the air
And the stars seemed so far away
Each sparkle was a surge of pleasure
The night sky melted around me
Bemused, it took me away

So close I could almost touch you
But you were not looking at me
For I held in my hand
A promise, a tantalizing treasure
Of everything you ever dreamed and wanted
As I let it slip from my fingers
Your heart stopped
But your eyes opened when I took your hand
And you saw it showering around you
To become a part of yourself

I touched your face
Could you feel it?
Or was it the snow falling from above?
A whisper
So sweet and mysterious
Slow your steps, answer my call
Take my hand and take your world
Stay with me
I'll give you the world that you want

Question of the week

2008-04-30T00:39:00.002+10:00

Q: If we found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... what would we do with it???

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

2008-04-15T23:12:00.002+10:00

Some food for thought:
If one was to measure the sky, by example of stretching a piece of string around the globe (assuming the land was flat all around), and then lifted it upwards, would it be more accurate to measure the length of the string (sky) from that, or should the string be stretched out the further upwards it goes?

New Work

2008-04-15T22:58:00.002+10:00

Working in a restaurant is pretty hard work, since I took the laid-back-ness of Crazy Clarks for granted it seems. All you do is stand there and move your arms, and maybe occasionally turn sideways or get down. "Hello, how are you, that's good, would you like a bag, that's $12.80, and $7.20 change, thank you, have a nice day, hello how are you that's good would you like a bag, that's $4.60, and 40c change thank you have a nice day, hellohowareyouthat'sgoodwouldyoulikeabagthat's$19.95and5cchangethankyouhaveaniceday, ................................................................................."

In here everything is constantly changing, constantly be moved around. Customers have specific wants, especially from a relatively well restaurant, that makes them a heck of a lot picker than a cheap retail store. The people are quite nice though. I made a few mistakes, but it's given me a lot of tips on what to do next time, and I've learnt a lot of stuff already. I'd say the best thing about working there is probably the manager; always cheerful (but not too much), fairly flexible but still follows protocol, willing to give a hand if you're having trouble, and generally nice all around.

Supanova & Toscani's

2008-04-11T12:46:00.003+10:00

Oops, kinda been a month since I last blogged. My exams coming up very soon, one tomorrow actually, so glad I don't have any classes on Friday which leaves me free to study, if I get around to it.

Last Saturday was Supanova!!!! This year I cosplayed as Rider from Fate/Stay Night, that show is really good!! We went on a Saturday instead of Sunday because most of the good cosplayers came on Saturday, and that we would get first pick of the merchandise. I spent most of my money on little tidbits, like gashapon and posters. Then we went to watch the cosplay competition. It was such a shame, the kareoke competition wasn't on Saturday this year, Sunday only. And it was on the big staaaggeeee!!!!! raaahhh!!!! ah well, next year I suppose :(

Here's a picture of the people I went with:

OH AND ANOTHER BIG NEWS!!!! I was just hired by Toscani's, a cafe bar and restaurant in South Bank. A month ago I had plastered all the restaurants down South Bank with my resume, and now it has finally paid off!!!!!! I had my first shift last night. Tiring, but fun as well. Because I was kinda nervous, I was walking pretty fast, and I kept on slipping when I got into the kitchen because I forgot how oily it was everytime. Didn't break anything, but I did drop some sourcream....on my manager ^^" though he wasn't too fazed about it. Everyone was pretty nice, and there was another trainee who was from HK as well.

Well, seems like it for now, cya laterz everyone ^__^

Ramble - from the heart

2008-03-13T22:52:00.002+10:00

Just some ramble. It's funny how little people read this blog, but it's so much fun, and most of the people that read...ALL of the people that read aren't from Brisbane. Sometimes the past seems so far away, and everything is slipping out, but then some things just bring you back into reality.

It's kind of hard to make decisions, I'm always the one sitting on the fence, just going with the general opinion. But when the decision concerns only me....it's hard to stay on the fence. When something's there, right out of your reach, will you jump for it, or wait for it to come to you? I guess maybe I'm kind of selfish, since I'm not really much of a jumper. But then, it's painful to see it see that you're not going for it, and it decides to leave. The question of "Would I have got it if I had jumped for it? Or would I have fallen and lost what I already had, and what I could have had?" What's even worse is when you can see it coming; the first time, you don't jump, and it's gone. The second time, you expect it to go...so you don't jump...and so it leaves.

Moving on

2008-03-13T22:25:00.002+10:00

Whoaa, end of week three already!! REALITY CHECK TIME - - - in other words, time to get a year calendar, and that's exactly what I did. I went all the way to the Kelvin Grove campus to print off a year calendar on A2 so I could tack it to my wall (along with all my posters), but when I got there, I was told it would be $10 to print anything on A2, whether it be a multicoloured, fit-inducing poster for rainbow pot or a 50px by 50px dot in the centre. Well, I thought I'd go along and do it anyway, but it turns out they only print A2 on the other campus. So I left and went back to the city and went to Officeworks instead. (Is there a Officeworks in Melb/Perth? If not, it's basically a huge store that sells all type of stuff like stationary, filing folders, notebooks, whiteboards, desks, chairs, printers, and all other stuff to do with Office i suppose), and they didn't print A2 at all! So in the end I printed half the calendar on A3 and the other half on A3 for 16c only, and taped them together on my wall. It's very usefull, and I think everyone should get one ^________^

Well, this week has kind of slumped into subconscious procrastination, but I got my first team assignment. I was kind of left with the leftovers of the class, but at least it was only the second-worst group, and not the worst group ^^"?

....??!

Another week flown by - ramble

2008-03-06T20:39:00.004+10:00

Yaaay, another week is over. But when you think about it, is it a good thing or a bad thing? Sometimes it scares me when I go to my instrument lesson on Saturday, when it only feels like the day before I had gone for my previous lesson, and I briefly wonder what I had accomplished in the days in between the two lessons. When I think about it, not a lot really. Sometimes I think life is about doing as little work as possible, but then you have to cover up the fact that you haven't worked, and sometimes that can be even more tiring than doing it. We go through the steps of school and all those, and it's up to us to fill our days with tasks of our liking, I suppose that's what the entertainment industry is there for.

Recently my taste in music and art have been swerving towards a more traditional time. Just the sound of Princess Mononoke makes me feel so touched. There's a sense of bliss in the place I can see only in my mind, that no one else can even imagine the edges of. A place of contentment. If there was to be a god, that would be my paradise. Sometimes I feel so frustrated with myself, because I want to be able to do everything, but I have to undertake the journey to reach it.

But no matter how much I strive for that far-fetched place, it comforts me also to see the material things around me right now; my room, books, computer, sticker photos. The material things make me complacent, while I want to keep on wanting, and not waiting.

First Week at Uni

2008-02-28T21:31:00.002+10:00

Yaaayy, first week over uni is done!!! Only have lectures this week so got to lightly familiarise myself with my units. Ironically, the Business units are by far more interesting than the IT units. In one Business unit is Quantitive Analysis and Finance which is almost pure maths, so I gotta keep up with that, although it's not that hard. The other one is my Advertising unit, which was so awesome to attend! The lecturer was so informational, and I loved all the theory involved in the unit. In my IT unit was Professional Studies and System Architecture. The Professional Studies unit is all about management which was vaguely interesting, but would probably prove to be more appealing and useful later. On the other hand System Architecture was so tragically boring, and the lecturer wasn't very good at addressing the content to the class, that I ended up skipping half the lecture early and going home. Ahhh, skipping class already...better not make that a habit XP

Apart from uni some other changes has taken place at home. I got a new bed ($70 from Amart yo!!), new mattress, bit of shelving to fill the gap in my room (I used to have a double bed), and overall cleaned up. Well, the cleaning part is still happening. Oh and new computer coming soon of course. Really gotta clean up the room though, it's giving me no incentive to study since I know I've got to get it out of the way, but if I keep procrastinating like this study will never happen.

On the same note, better get my cosplay costume on the go soon. Oh yea, I heard Melbourne is having its first Supanova convention??? So envious, our conventions are only ever tiny in proportion to Brisbane.

Well, that seems like it for the first week. Just gotta get some cleaning out of the way and study underway. Laterz~ ^____^

Orientation Week

2008-02-21T20:40:00.002+10:00

Zomg uni soon!! Had my orientation week on Tuesday and Wednesday for Business. There was a bit of a mixup where the Business and IT orientation seminars were at the same time on the same day, so I ended up going to the Business one. There were met up with a few Grammar school friends. The seminar was ssssssoooooooooooooo booooorrrinnnnggg zZzZzZz....... But at least Advertising (my Business major) seems quite interesting.

I've also been job-hunting and giving out resumes in hope of getting a job quite soon. It's so nervous (I thought), amd quite despairing waiting for some form of correspondence. But I do want a better paying job now that I'm starting to buy more things, like uni books, OH I got an awesome new computer =P (should be getting it at the end of this week can't wait!!!), a new printer, a new bed (because my old one is a double and takes up too much room) and suchlike.

Hmm....that seems like it for now..nothing really new happening, except first uni class next Monday!! Ganbare to everyone at uni and school *\(^_^)/*

Kitty Quotes

2008-02-13T23:04:00.003+10:00

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. ~Dereke Bruce
There is something about the presence of a cat... that seems to take the bite out of being alone. ~Louis J. Camuti

After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. ~Charlotte Gray

The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal - it's also the reason they hate birds. ~K.C. Buffington

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. ~Stephen Baker

If there is one spot of sun spilling onto the floor, a cat will find it and soak it up. ~J.A. McIntosh

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. ~Leo Dworken

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. ~Mary Bly

My cat speaks sign language with her tail. ~Robert A. Stern

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ~Terry Pratchett

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. ~Faith Resnick

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. ~Albert Einstein

Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. ~Monica Edwards

When your kitty purrs to you, doesn't it break your heart that you can't purr back? ~Candea Core-Starke

Sometimes he curls up on my pillow during the night and I don't know he's there until I yawn and my mouth closes on a whisker. ~Astrid Alauda

A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes. ~Indian Proverb

Dogs have owners, cats have staff. ~Author Unknown

Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. ~John Weitz

A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it. ~Henry David Thoreau

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. ~Alfred North Whitehead

Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration - and get between you and it. ~Arthur Bridges

The cat was created when the lion sneezed. ~Arabian Proverb (weird proverb...?)

There is no snooze button on a cat that wants breakfast. ~Unknown

Driving Lessons

2008-02-11T18:56:00.001+10:00

It seems like everyone was learning how to drive, or already know how to drive, so I thought I might join in too. Although it's complicated with lots of multi-tasking involved, learning how to drive is actually quite fun!!

My first lesson was in a near-empty carpark, and just learning how to get the car moving, doing some reverses, and laps around the carpark, so pretty easy. HOWEVER!!! The second lesson was on a near-deserted street which was kinda sloped, whereas the carpark was perfectly level ground. And apart from doing laps around the street and the little roundabout at the end, I learnt how to change gear into second and third (evidently I am learning manual), and U-turns and 3 point turns. I must say, it was a very very very stressful time, doing U-turns, especially because I still have lots of trouble with letting go of the clutch and putting acceleration on. Haha and too much Initial D has given me a lot of bad habits ^^""" I stalled a LOT during this lesson, but the worse part of the lesson was when I was driving back up from the roundabout, changing gears from third back to second to go around the corner of the street, where I stuffed it up and stalled. Then after stalling for another seven or so times, I still couldn't get the car started. It was around that time when I was told my lesson had ended and the instructor took over x_X

It wasn't until the instructor got the car started that I realised we were on a hill = needed more acceleration to get the car started. It was so stressful that I was sweating just sitting in the car while I was driving. Hahah but it was super fun when I could go round corners really fast, although that earned me a hard look =P

Holidays

2008-02-04T11:46:00.000+10:00

I want to apologise for not being online a lot these holidays, it's because since my mum has gone back to America/Hong Kong with my sister, I've got the house to myself, and I usually sleep downstairs since I've got the whole lounge to myself.

At first holidays was pretty awesome, just go out and play and stuff, but then I got sick on New Years, and have been sick for all of January, so it's mostly been staying in the house and resting.

Talking about me being sick, so stupid: I woke up one morning with a really sore throat, and after a day or two I went to see the doctor since it wasn't getting better, and he was like "ok, I THINK you have tonsilitus, so take this medicine, and if you aren't getting better, see me in a week, and we'll do some blood tests to see if it's glandular fever." And one day in the next week, I started getting really bad stomach pains and I went to hospital, where it turns out i had GLANDULAR FEVER and it was near critical cos the medicine prescribed to me didn't act against glandular fever. So because of a lazy shitty doctor, I had a sore throat for a week and couldn't eat or even drink water cos my throat hurt so much and spent three days in hospital.

But the funny thing is, once February swung by, I was completely better!!! Completely healed!!! Go figure....weird.

Oh yea, I had a pretty awesome birthday party. It was already awesome because it's the first birthday I've spent in Australia with my friends; usually I'm in HK and spend it with family and relatives. Anyway, first my friends and I met up in the city, bummed around, took sticky photos, played in the arcade, then we went back to my place for pizza and drinks. Haha we played lots of silly games like charade, and some drinking games and suchies.

At the start of the holidays I did this short hospitality course so I've been looking for a job, but no luck so far. This one place said I could do a test trial, and then on the day a few hours before they called up and said they didn't need me anymore!!! Y_______Y *sigh* rejection hurts........

Oh and of course, I decided to stay in Brisbane for uni and now I'll be study a double degree of Bachelor of Business&IT. I was really happy I was accepted into Melbourne, but before I accepted, I was really nervous about the degree down there, and if I could cope with lots of hard work as well as living by myself. So in the end I thought if I really wanted to go study down there, or anywhere, I could always transfer in my second or third year. All the best of luck to Albie, I'm really impressed that you went to America, whereas I'm still too scared too leave home yet, but I believe I'll be able to do the same sometime.

Hmmm.....that's probably all for my holidays; I've still got another month or so until I start school so I'll keep the posts coming. Thanks for dropping by everyone ^___^

2008!

2008-02-02T21:13:00.000+10:00

Hahahah, haven't touched my blog for a year, for shame. Well fellow bloggers, I am rejoining the blogosphere (as Del so elegantly puts it). Took me a while to do because I wanted a new blogskin and it took me ages to find it, but this one is pretty kool :P

Anyway, this year will bgring more posts. Good luck to everyone reading this for 2008. For Del and Lina who just came back from TW, Albie who's in America this year, Kura who's still in school, Ray... cos no one else will say this to him, and Ron, Jess and Cindy since I'm naming all the Perth people, Panda and Koala who should be first year uni as well, all the TW people we know, Vongie in Melb, Bryan in Syd, and all my Brisbane friends who probably won't read this anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL YEAR IN 2008!!!!!!! ^_______^

And that's it for a first post, I'll update my holidays soon.

Luv u all!!! *group hug*